Wherever I Am…

December 20, 2008 at 6:24 am (Flowers of Thought) (, , , )

flowers-of-thought-2Itchy feet and the restless urge have overtaken me again. I must be getting too settled in. Rain or mist has been the pervading weather for the last several days, leaving me sunless and cabin-locked, for the most part. This evening found me turning circles in the living room. It isn’t quite long enough for cartwheels, unfortunately. I started into Job this morning, but my mind feels completely saturated, like a sponge so soggy it can’t absorb any more. Asked what the Lord is teaching me, my mouth hangs open like a door with a loose hinge, and I can’t squeeze even one drop of refreshing water from my mind. Where do I even begin? I’ve been soaking it up, enjoying the time of solitude up here on the mountain, learning of the Lord. Now I’m ready to bound down into the valley again, desperate to seek and save His lost lambs. “My people perish for lack of knowledge” He says. “There’s a famine for hearing the word of the Lord.” “Beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news.” My spirit wanders around inside me. I catch myself daydreaming witnessing opportunities, replaying conversations, rethinking what I should have said. I want to go out, to seek, to serve, to give myself a sacrifice.

I’ve got to start at home.

Lord, I’m here where Thou hast placed me
Restlessness and doubt still chase me.
Am I needed here at home?
For Lord, the urge to roam has grown.

And I can justify desires
By claiming Thou hast lit the fires.
But Thou hast bid me be content
Where’er it is that Thou hast sent.

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3 Comments

  1. Miss S. said,

    Wow! Thank you Abigail! That poem at the end really hit it home for me today. I’ve been struggling with the same thing so much lately…thanks again!!
    ~Miss S.

  2. Rebekah said,

    Ahh…this is SO me. I get the “restless urge” far too often. I’ve been in a place I despise for 4 years, and so often I’ve found myself say “if only I could control my future…” If certain circumstances give us trouble, and we don’t know God’s will, we can know that His ultimate will is for us to be content and glorify him, just as you said. Did you write that poem? If not, who wrote it? Thanks for the post Abigail!

  3. Abigail said,

    “we can know that His ultimate will is for us to be content” So true, Rebekah! Yet so hard to grasp in reality–for me, at least. Yes, I suppose I’m the guilty author of the poem.

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