Commitment…then Intimacy

July 24, 2010 at 2:52 pm (Attitudes, Food for Thought, Purity) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

food-for-thought

Chew on this…

Commitment produces intimate relationships, in that God-given order.  The order God established is not an intimate relationship then commitment.  God shows Himself to you in different ways and allows you to choose Him.  Before there is a solid commitment you do not enter the Holy of holies, into the most sacred dwelling place with our Savior, into communion with His Spirit.  You are not intimate with Him until that most significant step is taken: commitment.

Heather Arnel Paulsen, Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart, 2001

…and tell us what you think.

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A Review for the Pure in Heart

March 1, 2010 at 1:47 am (Purity, The Book Shelf) (, , , , , , , , , , )

the-book-shelfEmotional Purity:  An Affair of the Heart by Heather Arnel Paulsen

Book Type: Practical/godly living

Rating: 9 out of 10

Recommended? For every woman, especially for young Christian single women


Overview: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” says the wise king in Proverbs 4:23.  As I taught abstinence in the public schools, I found myself preaching and pleading for so much more than physical purity.  The intimacy progression chart we shared began with “hanging out”.  So few seem to connect the progression of intimacy so clearly–can broken hearts happen after hanging out?  I’ve known girls who are devastated by discovering that a “friend” doesn’t return their affection.  And then what?  It’s not even a break-up.  In her book, Heather talks about keeping your heart focused on Jesus, who is able to protect it from emotional damage.  I stand witness to the fact that abiding by rules like “no holding hands” or “no dating” or “I won’t kiss until my wedding day” still leaves many Christian girls with broken hearts and confused minds, asking “how did this happen?  How did I misunderstand?”  The secret lies in the blurred boundaries our society encourages between friendship and relationship.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:

The ugly is that broken hearts happen.  The bad is that they happen to the best of us.  The good is that Heather has some excellent (and scripturally solid!) advice for protecting our minds and hearts from the emotional games and confusing friendships(?) that are so easy to walk right into.  She encourages keeping friendships family and group based, and for those who have been broken, there is hope in the Healer of souls.

Praises:

Reading “Emotional Purity” is like reading a letter from a good friend.  Heather’s style is simple, honest and humble–genuine with her sympathy and love.  She’s been there and, better yet, proven that you can have an emotionally pure relationship that leads to marriage!  Heather doesn’t just stop at “how to avoid a broken heart”, she also deals with heart issues like envy and discontent that encourage us to seek solace in a relationship when we should be seeking the Lord.  She encourages us to understand our feelings so that we may offer them to the Lord in worship.


Concerns:

Heather gives a couple of examples that were pure for her that I would have a hard time encouraging since they still could have been emotionally dangerous.  Her perspective is to help women guard their hearts and she doesn’t deal as much with seeking not to lead on a guy emotionally.  Of course, the standards and goals of not emotionally defrauding can and will be different for different girls–and in different relationships.  So read with an open heart to understand and seek emotional purity for the glory of God.


Tips for getting the most out of this book:

At the end of each chapter, Heather asks a few questions for you to meditate on.  I encourage you to get 41kuzlj1oil_bo2204203200_pisitb-sticker-arrow-clicktopright35-76_aa240_sh20_ou01_out your journal and answer them honestly–evaluating your own life and habits in light of what she shares.  It’s difficult to change habits.  Sometimes it’s difficult to pinpoint particular areas of stumbling.  But it’s worth it!  If purity is important to you, then pour some time and effort into cultivating emotional purity–guarding the well-spring of your heart!

Buy Emotional Purity from Amazon

Read Heather’s Blog

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We Have a Winner…

February 24, 2009 at 3:12 pm (Announcements) (, , , , )

Poor Lydia was displaced for a slightly more random drawing from Random.org.  And the winner of “Emotional Purity:  An Affair of the Heart” is Carley!  Fancy that!  Happy birthday to you, Miss Carley!  Looks like you won’t have to go buy your own copy, after all!  Now, as soon as you’re finished, we expect a full report on how well you liked it…:D  Just kidding, though we’d love to hear back from you.   Thanks, ladies for entering!  We wish we could give everyone a copy–it’s an excellent book!

Blessings,

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You could be the proud, new owner…

February 10, 2009 at 3:39 pm (Announcements) (, , , , , , )

Of your very own copy of “Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart” by Heather Paulsen.

We’re finally hosting another giveaway! And what can you expect? It’s a book! Fancy that. And a great one.

Check out our review of it, just a few posts back and then leave us a comment on this post to enter! If you’d like a second entry, announce this giveaway on your own blog or website and leave a second comment with a link to your announcement. Entries close February 23, 2009 and we’ll draw a random winner ASAP.  Who knows?  Perhaps this will draw some of the lurkers out of the woodwork.

Enjoy!

Blessings,

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